His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
