If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
