It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
