he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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