For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
