I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
