just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
