Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
