I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
