didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
this is an emotional support booty call
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
