Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Randomize
