i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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