That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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