Midget sex pt 2 tonight
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
third nipple confirmed
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
