I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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