If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
