Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
