we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
