Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
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