currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
