Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
