I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
