i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
