I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Holy sore nipples Batman
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
