she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
the room spins SO much faster in panama
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
