There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize