He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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