I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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