look no pants
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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