my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
