two words: eviction party
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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