it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
