Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
