your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
