ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
