I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Randomize
