some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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