I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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