If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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