Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
