So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
