she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
