Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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