Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
