he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
