I don't think brook has ever known best
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
She made me pour olive oil on her.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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