i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I deserve this hangover.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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