Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
