i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
