no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
