Who did Billy Mays play for?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I need water and some morals
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize